Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
