they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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