i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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