you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
