His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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