Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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