Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
