she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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