in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You ruined the universe
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
