Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
