so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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