Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
