I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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