he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
