we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
