Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Randomize
