This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's official drugs can't kill me
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
