Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I met the friendliest cop last night
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
