I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
