I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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