He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
