I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
