Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
