You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
