So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
