We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
