just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
They have beer where we have blood.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
