Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I had to cum in my sink.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
