Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
