sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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