I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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