oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
