So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
sarcasm needs its own font
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
