My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
