he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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