i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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