i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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