hell yes lets make some ravioli
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
