im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
