hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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