she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
