you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
