I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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