we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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