I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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