Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
