god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
