he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
