it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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