This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
