We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
